Inspiration through tears

Honey, I love you for how God teaches me through you.

Who am I, thinking that I have anything to offer God? How egotistical for me to say, "God, use me." Me, who has been as as inconsistent as the rain, faithful to Him as rain is to the desert, trusting as a lone wolf. I have nothing to offer Him. No talents. Nothing special. Only me.

What does a man need to change? He needs to see that he is really nothing in himself. He needs to realize that, in the words of Socrates, that "true knowledge lies in knowing that you know nothing." He needs to cry out to God, saying, "I am yours, do what you will with me!" He must understand that God never uses the stength of a man to do His will, but his weakness. God never relys on the foolishness of man, but His own wisdom through our ignorance. God used Moses, who, by all accounts stuttered, to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. He used Peter, (who I really identify with) who always talked big, but seldom followed through. (I'll never deny you, Lord! Hey, Peter, is that the rooster crowing for the third time?) He used Paul, who was ugly (so would you after being stoned many times) and such an "exciting" speaker that someone fell asleep while he was preaching, and fell out of a window!

The great men of the Bible? They weren't great because of themselves. They were normal, pathetic men, made great by God.

That's what I want to be. I want to be God's tool, poorly crafted but used in the skillful and masterful hands of God to bring about His will. I am Yours, God. Here am I.

God,
I am Yours to do with as You will.
Make me.
Mold me.
Hold me in the fire of Your love until You see Your reflection in me.
Cast out all impurities.
I have nothing to offer, but myself.

In Christ's Name,
Amen