Hey, what do you know!

I just realized/remembered, I can blog from my e-mail address! How cool is that?

 

So this just a test, of sorts, making sure I can do this, and do it properly.

 

So…. Hi! Howya doin’?

 

 

IRAQ - It's not about oil!!!

I can prove the above statement...

To do so, I ask this question: If America is the kind of nation that would go to war over oil, why haven't we invaded Canada?

The vast majority of oil imported by the U. S. is from Canada, a country of 10 million people or so, with very little military to speak of. We could invade them easily, right? So why bother with the difficult fight in Iraq for oil if Canada is sitting just to our north, ripe for the pickings?

And if it's all about oil, why are we not drilling for oil in our own country? Why not allow it in ANWR and the Gulf of Mexico? Then we wouldn't have to fight in Iraq?

So maybe it's about something other than oil...

Maybe it's really about freedom, like the President says!

This is not about me, but it's my responsibility...

Now, hon. I know you're going to read this, and think that you made me feel guilty or something. While I was listening to you this morning, your despair, I felt my heart break. But I also started to understand what it meant to be the head of the family. What the responsibility of that is, and that it means if something is going wrong, it's me who's ultimately responsible.

Yes, that means if you find yourself unable to do something around the house, it's ultimately me who's responsible, because I should be making the decisions to help you along that path. If we have problems disciplining our kids, it's my concern, because it means I've not been taking leadership in talking about how we do it, there's no plan.

I don't know I'm going to do it, and I probably can't do it alone, but I will find a way to be the husband, father, and man I'm supposed to be.

I know that God supports me in this, but that the Adversary will try hard to keep me from this, as he knows that my kids, as well as everyone else's kids, are the next generation that could be fighting his reign on this planet.

Please pray for my family as we learn the roles we need to learn.



"GOD,
I know that I'm trying to take the right path. But I also know that the enemy of my soul and my family and Your Kingdom doesn't want this to happen. Please help me to resist temptation, and to work for what is right, despite how frustrating things get. Give me courage, and patience, and wisdom, to move beyond this into what you have predestined me to be.

Amen."

Sometimes I think I'm just a big failure...

Today has not been a good day.

It started off with me getting only 2 hours of sleep. But then after that, I found out I'm a disappointment to my wife, and probably also one to my kids.

The problem is, I know it. I suck, royally. I can't get this thing called "life" right, it seems. If something is going good, I always find a way to make it bad. And I hate it that I can do nothing about the situation. Or at least that's the way I feel.

Thing is, I get comfortable, I make mistakes. And the more comfortable I am, the bigger the mistakes tend to be. I really feel like an idiot when I forget important dates, and disappoint my wife. Or when I could simply do what I know needs to be done, but I don't do it, because I'm lazy, or preoccupied, or whatever. It's like I stop thinking, and just let myself forget all that I've done to get me to where I was.

Right now, I suppose you could say that I hate myself, at least somewhat.

I wish I could be someone else, because I don't really like who I am now. GOD! I need to be done with this life and move on to something where I can't screw it all up...

Maybe this is just the lack of sleep talking, but right now, I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up. Maybe it'd be better for everyone involved if it ended like that.

So, I guess, I really asking anyone and everyone who reads this to pray for me. Heap upon me your prayers, and help me to recognize an answer, because I honestly don't know if I can keep praying. I'm apparently not asking for the right things.

GOD, please, PLEASE! I'm sick of who I am! I'm worthless, and I have no idea what you could possibly see as worthy in me! I've become a useless thing, taking up space even in my own life! I've almost given up on fighting, because fighting only leaves me hurt... I'm sick, and I'm broken, and I'm wounded, and I'm scared... I'm finished. Make me, mold me, form me, break me down and build me up again!